check me out at http://www.nucchi.net. i promise it will be better

Wanna know what I’m sick of? I’m sick of fakeness.  I’m sick of people that bitch and bitch and bitch, but don’t do anything about it. I’m sick of weak, wishy washy people.  I’m sick of accepting crap because things will never change. I’m sick of holding in my feelings because I don’t want to rock the boat.  I’m sick of worrying about what anyone else thinks about me or what I say or what I look like.

I’m not perfect.  Not in the least.  But I’m real. I may have my insecurities, but at the same time, I know who I am.  If you don’t want my opinion, then keep your bitching to yourself.  I’m not going to keep helping you and giving you advice if you’re going to second guess me every second.  Whats the point? You’re wasting my time and stressing me out because you can’t think for yourself.  This is who I am.  If you don’t like it, then that’s your problem.

whew.  i feel much better, thanks internet.

I love facebook. I’m somewhat addicted to it. Every evening, I check my email and go on facebook. What do I do on there every day? Mostly look at the status updates for anything interesting. Look to see if any friends have posted pictures. check for messages (which aren’t very frequent). But the best part of facebook is seeing a new friend request! Who could it be? Most times, it’s someone I may not care too much about, but what if it’s a long lost friend whom I haven’t spoke with and have been looking for FOREVER?

Now, here is my only issue with Facebook. And it’s not really with facebook, it’s more with how I let the information I see on there affect me.

I became reaquainted with a girl on facebook that I went to college with for one year. We got a long very well that year, but she didn’t come back to school and we sort of lost touch. During that year, however, she was not one to focus much on her education, and because of that, I didn’t expect her to accomplish too much. I know that sounds harsh, but that’s how I felt. She was a great person with very little motivation to do anything besides party, drink, etc. We got to talking (messaging really) and I found out that this girl, now a married woman, has gotten her bachelors, her masters, and is pursuing her PhD in some child related psychology or education degree. She’s lived on both sides of the country and spent some time ‘finding herself’. Wow. Did I ever feel like I loser finding that out. Here I am, with only a bachelors. 3 months after I got married, I got pregnant and haven’t seen the world or done much of anything.

Does anyone else do that? get jealous of someone you hardly know based on facts you see in print without even finding out if they are truely happy? I find myself comparing our career choices, even becoming jealous of the pictures they have posted on their pages becuase they look like they have more fun than I do, or their friends look more fun than mine, or they know how to have a good time. How completely SAD is that?

It doesn’t stop at facebook either. I have blogs that I read frequently and I find myself envious of the people that write them. Envious for their experiences, of their writing ability, of their following, of their relationships. I know that jealousy is a normal thing to a certain extent. And it’s not like I am jealous in the “what a bitch” kind of way, it’s more like I envy them but am glad they have become successful. I wish I knew how to take these feelings and turn them into a motivating factor for becoming a better person. I guess that’s what I need to strive for every day.

Can I just say, I HATE when people reply to all.  There must be some written law or etiquette manual that I can send to people to get them to stop.  Aren’t there RULES to reply all?  Here are my rules…

Rule #1 – Do not reply to all

There – that’s it.  What do you all think?

No seriously, some people that reply to all are just embarrassing themselves.  Take for instance…. my friends sister.  She replies to all constantly.  She will call someone out on something in a replied email, airing her grievances for the entire address book to see. To be completely honest, I get uncomfortable seeing it. 

I, myself, happen to be very good at editing my emails. And others if they choose (my boss and co-worker).

Another thing my …. friends family…. does a lot is this emailing back and forth, like when there is a gathering taking place (for example – Christmas) and each person is going to bring some food.  So the first person sends an email to the whole family letting them know she’s going to bring rolls.  Then the second person replies all to that email, letting everyone know that they will bring mashed potatoes, and so on and so forth until there are 20 emails in the inbox with the same fucking message.  Guess what – I don’t care! Hey, if I volunteer to bring something that someone else has already ‘called’, then let me know and I bring something else.  is it that difficult?

Whoa… got a little wound up there for a bit. But I feel better now…

I guess there is a lull in any excitement in my life, therefor I can’t seem to find anything to write about. I wish I was interesting like this blog or this one, but besides my life being that boring, they are obviously FAR better writers than I am.  (that would make it seem as though I am a writer at all, and while I can edit co-workers emails so they don’t come off as being too bitchy, I am definately NOT a writer…)

Anyhoo, life is boring. Christmas is almost here, the credit crisis in America is killing me, as is the automotive crisis.  well, that’s not really killing me YET, but it’s scaring the hell out of me. I don’t even want to watch the news or read the paper, it’s too depressing.

My hot flashes/heat intolerance continues and I’m utterly annoyed.  I have an appointment with an endocrinologist in late January, but that’s not soon enough for me.  This is a quality of life issue for me and pretty soon I’m going to go crazy.

Monkey is FINALLY walking. still not talking, but I guess one thing at a time, right? 

Hey, I told you my life was boring right now…

for the midnight showing of Twilight on 11/21!  Yippee!! I’ve NEVER gone to a midnight opening of a movie before, so this is new to me.  Plus, I’m going with a chick from work and a bunch of HER friends, so it should be interesting.  I plan on making a twilight shirt just got to get the supplies.

On a more disappointing note, the previews for Twilight that I’ve seen on tv have been… disappointing.  To be honest, if I didn’t totally love the books and the characters, I don’t know if I’d want to see the movie.  Don’t get me wrong, the trailers (which I’ve only seen online) have been great, but I don’t know what’s going on with these previews.  Like the one cafeteria scene?

Oh, and Kristin Stewart (Bella) – from what I’ve seen, not to pleased with her either…

enough random bitching… ta ta for now

So, I was there at the polls this morning at 7am.  Hubby called me to warn me that the parking lot was full, but I didn’t figure it would be any better after work so I thought, what the hell.

THANK GOD WE DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY YEAR!

It amazes me how bad and unorganized the process is, given how many years we’ve been doing it and how important the outcome is.

My voting location is an elementary school around the corner from my house.  As I entered the building, the line was all the way down to the end of the hallway, leading into the gymnasium where the actual voting takes place.  It took me 35 minutes to get to the doorway to the gym, but I wasn’t bothered yet.  Once getting in, we had a piece of paper we had to fill out with our name and address, then we could enter one of the two lines.  The first line was for those with last names starting with A through L, the other line M through Z.  I was fortunate enough to hear one of the few announcements stating this, so I didn’t experience any confusion.  I stood patiently in this interior line for 25 minutes, watching the process around me.  I watched as there were 7 (out of 9) empty boothes for voters. I watched the ladies in line in front of me take it upon themselves to yell out an annoucement to those in line behind us regarding the different lines for different letters.  (because those working failed to do so and no one populated the other line.) It was incredible. 

Finally I made it to the front of this first line.  It was here that I approached an elderlywoman who would find my name on the register, highlight it, initial my form, then wait , oh maybe 5 minutes, for a pink sheet of paper where she would take a sticky label from her register that included my name and place it on the pink paper.  These sheets were reusable.  Evidentally they only had 10 in the whole place, so there was a long wait to move to the next line with the pink sheet in hand.  Not only were they short on these pink papers, but no one seemed to have a ballpoint pen either, so they were sharing among three workers.  (While waiting in line, I saw a voter actually dig in her purse and pull out two pens which she then donated to the workers…)

Off to the next pointless line where I slowly shuffled to the front, presented the next clueless lady with my papers.  She then took my forms, placed them in a pocket on the front of my ballot folder, placed a ballot inside.  However, if she didn’t have any folders, she had to get up, walk across the gym to some other old geezer worker to get folders.  Yes, he could have brought them to her at some point, except he was ancient and could barely walk as it was.

Off to the 3, but not final, line.  Once I got to the front of this line, the woman took the forms out of the little pocket, filed them, took the sticky label, put it on yet ANOTHER register where she also wrote down the number on my ballot.  I dunno, but maybe they could have combined the process with line #2? crazy…

Off to line number 4.  Now I have my ballot and I just need a booth to actually complete it.  Can someone explain this to me?  I could give two shits if you see who I’m voting for.  Why do I need an effing booth? Seriously, what a waste of time.  Anyway, if I did want to sheild my ‘answers’ from some copycat, I could very well do that on my own, I don’t need some stupid cubby.

Ok, I’m voting.  It took me like 1 minute to complete.  Now off to the old milkshake so he can tear the top off my ballot and talk me through inserting my ballot into the ballot machine thingy.

During my adventure in voting today, I did find out that these incredibly old and clueless workers were not volunteers like I had originally thought, but they were paid.  They had to undergo orientation and training for their jobs (it didn’t show) and anyone can do it in their district (unless they have been convicted of a felony). 

So, you may ask, am I going to do something about this rather than just bitch about it all day? You bet your ass I will.  At the very least, I will be applying for the job, but hopefully by some miracle there will be a way to improve the system!

Anyone else have any good ‘election day’ stories to share?

I was watching Bill Maher on HBO last night and he quoted a former Federal Reserve chairmain 

as in a poker game where the chips were concentrated in fewer and fewer hands, the other fellows could stay in the game only by borrowing. When their credit ran out, the game stopped.

Wow… thats a scary analogy, but really puts it into perspective. 

Here’s the complete quote Maher exerpted.

So, I’ve felt like a million different things were going on with my body, so I went and asked the doctor.

Doc took blood.  all my hormones came back fine, but my TSH was elevated.  So I repeated the bloodwork on Monday for TSH.  I should know tomorrow, but I expect that it’s still elevated and may have to treat my thyroids issue.  Hopefully this explains my excessive sweating and heat intolerance.

Had a mammogram. rt breast came back irregular, so I had to go back on Monday for a spot compression.  the lady said that it’s probably nothing, that because they didn’t have anything to compare to they have to be more vigilant.  So I’m not too worried but I’ll find out in a few weeks.
Went and had a sonohysterogram yesterday. First they did a regular ultrasound and found I have polycystic ovaries. This was a surprise to me because a few months after monkey was born I had an ultrasound because of pain in my abdomen – they were specifically looking for PCOS and they weren’t there.  Actually, the lady asked me if I was trying to concieve again because I was REALLY fertile… So I guess to treat it, they may put me on some hormone treatment or birth control.

After the ultrasound, they did a transvaginal then sonohysterogram.  When they put the saline in my uterus, they noticed a growth or polyp in my uterine lining.  So, next step is a DNC to clean out the polyp.  I will hopefully get that scheduled today. The doctor didn’t tell me any complications from any of the above, he sounded like it was all normal and routine stuff, but I did my little internet search and found out some complications that I don’t think I should dwell on just yet.  One of which is endometrium cancer.  So we shall see.