sick parents

I visited my dad in the hospital yesterday.  He looked much better than expected.  His lips were swolen from the sores, but they were healing. 

The hardest part about this is that my dad is so depressed.  It’s not a lot of fun seeing your father cry.  I really can’t believe how I managed to hold it together that day… but I guess I’ll pay for it after the fact with some random crying here and there.

what do you say?

What do you say to someone you love, who is hundreds of miles away, and is stricken by cancer?

Have I failed as a daughter?

Life gets busy, people forget to do things that they should do.  It’s easy to get caught up in life and forget about important (but maybe distant) things.

I called my mother last night.  It’s the first time I’ve called her since they both started chemo.  And she sounded horrible.  I mean, really bad.  She said she has some virus and she was waiting to get a prescription for it.  Something about high white cell count.  My dad I guess was the opposite with a low white cell count.  And the chemo had caused him to get canker sores all over his mouth and throat, so he was also pretty miserable. 

I wish I was closer to her – the 2 hours that seperate us make it hard for me to be there for her.  I mean, I could call more, but I don’t feel like that is enough.  My sisters and I all hate that she and my dad are up there, battling cancer together(alone) with the help of their other (old and probably not the healthiest) friends.   But what are we to do?

I have no idea how serious this all is… I guess I should find that out before time starts ticking away and i don’t have anymore time to spend with them. 

stupid cancer

So, I just found out last week that after 18 years in remission, my mother has breast cancer again.  Diagnosis is that it’s “aggressive”.  She’s living up north, away from the better medical facilities, so obviously my sisters and I were concerned about her treatment.  She told us that her doctor, who practices out of a local hospital up there, wanted to perform a partial mascectomy.  I asked her “Do you think you are going to get the best treatment up there?”  I’m sure I can speak for my sisters when I say that I wish my parents lived down here in the city where there is a better selection of doctors – lets face it – they aren’t getting any younger or healthier…

Since then, my mom did get a second opinion, which nixed the mascectomy and is doing a ’sentinal node biopsy’ instead.  Then, if things don’t go as planned, she may have to undergo radiation.

Wanna know the kicker?  The same week we found out about my mom, my dad was also diagnosed with cancer.  They have ruled out lymphoma, but they are doing further tests to see where the malignant mass originated from…

Did I mention my my co-worker is out this week, getting a node removed from her neck due to her thyroid cancer? Geez…